Mending the Heart Atlast

I've always been told that God can work so far up the river that you cannot see Him preparing something for your life. Its true. This blog is 100% in relation to my "Burned" Post from November. Its amazing how God can make things happen. Its incredible how God can work in my life so quickly and make such an incredible Impact. Its incredible how God lets things sit in order for His plan to help me grow. God works in all different ways, and fortunately I got to experience God work through the "Breakdown" phase. And this is how it happened. What happens is EVERYTHING went wrong. I woke up, and the second I opened my eyes, I knew it was going to be terrible day. Family fights, anger towards church, and a heart not willing to serve...a perfect combination for a minor spiritual breakdown. I will leave out the details about how the breaking-point part of my day went, All I will say is it was involved with a dozen F-Bombs, and 23904 other words i shall not repeat. God knows its time for things to change and then it happens I realize things need to change. All the RIGHT things fall into place. I talk to the right people, hear the right things, sing the right songs. Its incredible how I can get hurt in such a small time, but whats even more incredible is how my heart can change in an even smaller amount of time. Maybe you didn't read my other blog, "Burned" but now I am here and I feel more content with serving. I'm taking all the right steps and heading in the direction I need to be going...Finally. Heres God taking me and shaping me into who he wants me to be, a Yearning Disciple striving for a life for Him.

Which to pick?

I said the unthinkable the other day. Words so harsh. I actually said something I thought would never come out of my mouth. I said Halo3 was not as good as good as Call of Duty4. It was blasphemy. I regret it. And recently I've been asked which one I prefer. I have history with the Chief. Going back to Halo1 tearing apart the covenant to finding out a new group called the flood. Then me and Chief going to Earth in Halo2, Good times. And then in Halo3 me and him saving the earth and taking down everyone. We have history!!! but whats this? Here comes this new guy from the USMC, I don't even know his name and side with him? that's like...bad! I take it all back, nothing can take me away from my beloved Halo3. Not even a Us Marine fighting off middle eastern rebels.
Now as I go back and read this blog, there are a few adjectives that are probably going through your head right now that probably describe me. You're probably thinking I'm a...nerd, a bum, lazy game player, halo junkie, freak. No.... This blog emphasizes everything beyond belief. I love Halo, just like the other 1/2 of the world. And that's really all. It could be worse. I could be like those weird kids that fantasise about having weird sexual relations with cortana....(yes the hologram.)they do exist. but im not... Heres some rankings below

Halo 3 Service Record

A Green Christmas

Its Christmas time! Awesome, I enjoy it. A time for people to spend time with their family and friends, and also a great time for people to spend all their money!!! Awesome? No. I came across some intense stats recently that said how many families will go into debt this time of the year. Ironic how Americans go in bigger debt and grow more depressed around Christmas time aka the celebration of Christs' birth. Oh well not me. I stumbled across this awesome bible verse the other day. It really caught my attention and reminded me of all the chaos that happens this time of the year. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,"Never will I leave you; 7 never will I forsake you."
Hebrews 13:5-7

It reminded me that Christmas isn't all about getting the coolest best looking most expensive presents. I can definitely get wrapped up in the whole presents idea. I'm a teenager! I hear my friends talking about getting some of the coolest things with and/or having a $600 spending amount. Ridiculous. I wont let money tear me apart from what Christmas is about. That sure sounds like a cliche statement, but its me being genuine. Maybe these blogs are me talking to myself hopefully not, I do enjoy it very much though. Maybe my next one won't be so profound aka "Deep."



So this weekend was amazing. My sister took a train into town for the weekend and my brother spent the weekend home from college. It was great!! I cancelled all of my plans just spend each minute with my family. This time of the year is my second favorite. I hate cold and I hate cold rain and typically I'm not a huge fan of late fall early winter, but I love this time because its a great oppertunity to spend time with my family. I prayed earlier today during church because I thanked God for such an incredible family. I love this time of the year because I love to spend tons of time with people I who have known me since I was alive. I cherish every minute because I cant be sure who will be gone tomorrow. Its probably one of my biggest fears. That fear relates back to an unexpected death in the family and me seeing the pain that people suffered. Its this time of the year that I try to enjoy every second I have with my family. My Sister, Brother, and I went to target the other night. Its probably the first time I spent time with JUST them in a long long long time, its incredible I cherish those moments because I always a negative idea in my head that it could be gone tomorrow, that's not my point. I'm thanking God for the incredible family that I have.

Who's your Hero?

I met an incredible person tonight, this guy was so incredible with his faith, a very admirable trait. He managed to recover his train wreck life and turn around into one of the most devoted Christians I've EVER seen. He managed to memorize almost the whole entire New Testament ..Incredible!!! While he was talking to me and the rest of my leadership team, it made me want to strive to be like him, to have the ability to do what he does. Then it got me thinking, who are my hero's? There are few people who I consider my "Hero's." There are a few people who I would love to inherit some of their amazing qualities. So as I was sitting there tonight I was reflecting briefly on who I call my Hero's. During my reflection I realized that without some of these people I would not be half of the guy that I am today. As well as my recent reflection I experienced something similar, a few weeks ago I talked with a person I clearly disappointed, a Hero in my eyes. Doubts of why they try began to float around, I realized that person has had one of the biggest affects on me more than anyone in the world. Who's your Hero? What do they look like to you? I am pretty curious to see who other teenagers Hero's are. Who do you consider a Hero?


So I'm really loving the new idea of putting my thoughts onto a website such as blogspot, I'm really excited about things that I can post, and I am really looking forward to creating new Posts.
I've been really struggling with a few things lately and I have yet come to a conclusion on what to do. Maybe the right people will see this and give me a hand.
Every Sunday 4:00-10:00PM I'm running around Impact and Riot doing anything that is possibly needed to be done. Arrive at 4:30 setting up till 6. From 6:00 - 7:00 I am often in helping with middle school service IMPACT. Immediately after that from 7:00-8:00 I'm then in the High School service RIOT. Around 8 when the service is over then i finally have some breathing time to relax. Most times I'm usually being asked to do something due to reliability, which I don't mind usually, I'm a student leader I accept that things need to be done. Okay fine. 9 o'clock rolls around and its time to clean up. It usually takes a hardcore half an hour to get things cleaned up nicely. Then at 9:45ish we have a small meeting to recap the night, its a good time. I can honestly not remember the last time I've missed ONE week. Besides Sunday afternoon I often babysit for various classes within the Church. As well as a classroom once a month, but that is not a big deal. Now obviously the point of this post is not to tell you about my Sunday Night schedule. I'm finding that I'm digging myself in a hole, each day it gets just a bit deeper. I have discovered that my Passion to serve has been uncomfortably low. For a few weeks it was something I kinda ignored, nothing i felt of too much Importance. Its about maybe the 6Th or 7Th week now that i feel this way and I'm in a high level of discomfort by it. It sucks! Each Sunday I used to run, or sprint, or even sometimes SKIP to Riot because I got that excited. Now when 4:15 strikes (my time I leave my house) I get upset/angry. I feel burned out. I feel like me serving now is like a job that a 45 year old man does everyday for his whole life, it gets incredibly repetitive and just plain boring. And aside from poor attitude, i know my pessimistic attitude is trickling off onto others who are around me as i set-up, which I hate more than ever. (Although i never enjoy when someone says they don't know how plug in a TV and xbox , come on its two wires!!!) Anyway i feel like this isn't serving, I'm not happy and I feel I HAVE to do this, I don't, its my choice but it does not feel that way at all anymore. I hate admitting the fact that right now serving is a annoyance to me, but I'm only human and I'm must be honest with myself. I've been spending much time praying about this situation and hopefully the light at the end of the tunnel comes a bit sooner. I never like admitting that serving for God is an annoyance, that just sounds bad or at least in my eyes. Whats going on!?!!

An Answered Prayer or Two

I've been roaming around the web lately and I've discovered that many people i think are awesome all have accounts on, and I'm not joining to just jump on the cool people bandwagon, its a place where i will post thoughts, feelings, and ideas quite often! I'm really looking forward to it!
I'm going to start off by talking about the end my summer. At the end of the summer, i finally came to the realization that school was quickly approaching. As August 31st was rapidly approaching i knew i had to do something, i was worrying about school, it wasn't the typical worry i was going nuts! For anyone who didn't know, at the end of the school year, i basically could of spelled, DDDDDDDDDF with all of my grades. How I passed is something I still can not comprehend. Anyway, this wasnt a matter of being stupid or dumb,( i wish i knew that at the time.)
Soon after my grades got around to people who truly car about i got a lot of crap, it was bad but hey i deserve that. At the end of the summer i knew that my 11Th grade year was my key year to shine, if i ever wanted to see college. Not only that over the Summer that i cant be living for a God and failing school, not happening. It was time to get my stuff together. By the end of the Summer i was praying harder than ever before. i needed strength, faith, and determination for myself. None of those things i could have handled myself.
Long story short i have some pretty amazing classes and a schedule I'm content with, except maybe 1 class. This blog isn't my chance to boast and feel cool about myself but I'm incredibly proud to say i did finish semester 1with a GPA of 3.450!!!!(Honors) I don't even want a reply saying, "cool Evan great Job!" All i need to know is that I'm proud of myself. and its not even about that, turning and Ugly non-God honoring part of my life around is what its all about, and the feeling of getting strength and help from something beyond me is overwhelming. Its a boost of feeling i needed, its great.

Stick around for more blogs, i think about some insane stuff so come back for more good stuff, Thanks!
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